Lift

The other day I was reading a post by Sunny and she was talking about whether or not she should get anything done to her body in order to look more appealing, younger or what have you. Reading that post put me in mind of a poem I had heard only a few days earlier about a lift. And no, it wasn't about the up-and-down version or the ride-with-me version. It took me a while to find it and then I had to translate it, but here it is!

When the first wrinkle arrived, I got in a panic

I then had my face lifted in a pricy clinic.

My husband thought I looked fantastic

My face was (again) elastic.

No wrinkle, no fold

I looked honeymoon old.

Then my husband said:

"Your face doesn't fit your neck".

A little tuck and they pull it tight

A cut here and it looked right.

My husband he was very happy

About me looking so snappy.

The surgeon however had another blow

My boobs were now too low.

After lifting them, they looked a bit small

But some silicon made them look great and all.

Well, my man nearly had fits

Because I had fantastic tits!

But one night after sex, no lies

He had a comment about my thighs.

Don't get me wrong, no critique

But I went back to the clinique.

I had a belly too, so after a little talk

I had it sucked away, I didn't balk.

My butt cheeks were lifted the very same day

About an inch or five I would say.

At every party I was a wonder

Even considering the stress my body was under.

However, my husband felt like he was on the dogcart

Boys would yell: hey, old fart!

So, he tried again to look like a young tomcat

Dyed his hair and bought a tight corset.

And after all that he even did a bout

Of running, swimming and working out.

For months he followed a stringent diet

Until one day in the sauna he died.

There I stood at his grave looking great

But the fun was gone, it was too late.

Ladies, let all those people nag

And let your bits quietly sag.

Cherish your belly, thighs and chins

Real beauty comes from within!