I can't lie

When driving children from school to swimming pool and vice versa, you get quite a few questions and remarks. This afternoon was another great one. A few children wanted to know my age, so of course I told them I was 273. 'And when's your birthday?' June next year. When I will be 274.

Of course they didn't believe me. Although a few weren't so sure. After all, one girl said, when I lie, I have to giggle and smile and the driver doesn't giggle and smile, so I think she's telling the truth. And there was a boy who claimed that 'women can't lie, so I must be telling the truth!' Then some clever clogs asked me whether I was married and when I said no, she replied that I must be a bit of a sad case, since I was already this old and still hadn't found a man. But of course everybody knows I can only get married after the age of 712! That's how it's done in my family.

My Mum is 806 or 817 or 842, depending on her mood and my father is over 1000. And no, we don't want to be known all over the world for our high ages, we just don't want to bother with all those pesky journalists camping out on the front lawn...