Anybody who has had problems with their physical health will know what impact it has on your mental health. Likewise the other way around. And over the last few years I have experienced both. And both left me in a state of negativity really.
You may know I suffer from headaches and have done so for most of my life. Some of those headaches are migraines which my gp and I have now dealt with using beta blockers. Yes, my heart rate and blood pressure go down, but also yes: no more calling in sick because I can barely look straight ahead.
Unfortunately however, the other type of headache I suffer from is still there and seemingly getting worse. Especially after weekend driving which takes place in buses with concrete blocks for seats. My back and my neck and my shoulders tense up, resulting in quite bad headaches for several days after. No over the counter medication works and I have tried them all.
I went back to my gp. And he realised no medication would work. Or physio therapy for that matter. What I need is a renewed acquaintance with my body. He raved about Pilates and suggested I take it up. It would cost me, it would need dedication from me, but, if done right, it would help me in the long run. Did I mention it's the summer holiday?
So, what has this thing to do with my mental state of mind (that sounds wrong)? Because I have suffered from those headaches for nearly twenty years now and am quite used to them. In themselves, nothing. But add them to the other physical problems I have now (eczema, knees that give out on occasion) it just gets you down.
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| The former power plant close by. It has mostly been demolished now. |
And it wasn't as if I was up in the first place! Yes, this move to the Netherlands has been a good move. But I feel lost. I am struggling with what to do with my life, what I want to do when I grow up. I would like my own place, yet know that the place I would want is not available for a while yet (read about 2-5 years?). I have a place at my parents, but would like my own stuff around me if nothing else.
After I had my operation four years ago and then three months later my mental breakdown, I gave myself until December 31st of that year to 'wallow' and be down. After that: STOP! And I did. I got my act together again. I started doing things and eventually even took part in and finished a triathlon. However, over the last year and a bit, I have done squat. Nothing at all. In NI I was hardly at home and when I was, there was other stuff to do. That's not an excuse anymore though.
This pilates thing is not happening for a few weeks yet, but I needed to do something. And since I recently bought some walking shoes that still stood untouched in my room... I decided to walk again. Get out of the house. Have some music in my ears and a camera in my hand and walk. Which (and I am laughing at myself here) resulted in a nice big blister!
I am not going far. I am not walking to Santiago de Compostela just yet, which would take me the better part of the year at my current pace (it's only about 2000 km from where I live), but I am getting out there which is very important to me. Get those cobwebs out of my head and find out what I want. So I can get healthy again, both body and mind.
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteI cannot agree more that getting out into nature - no matter how slowly or to what length - is a salve for the soul. You used to row in Norway too and lots of other 'getting outs' and I am so glad you have taken first steps (literally) back in your homeland to this same end. YAM xx
(ps - watch out for Thursday's post over at Wild YAM - it may be of interest per our recent communication!)
Well, row is a big word! And it was only for three weeks a year. What I did do though: I was out with other people! Be it cycling or 'rowing' or walking or hiking. Never on my own...
DeleteHari OM
Deletetrue... and that company is another aspect of mental health. At home family is not quite the same (although to be appreciated for the safety it offers, no doubt). I know that the difference in my reclusive brother's life has come about by his taking up running and joining a group - but also using an "app" - something like this one, through which connections are found. Alone time for 'sorting out' is important, but so is having a lot of other folk who are not invested in you emotionally, as they can be sounding boards and dumping grounds where no consequence beyond your relief and uplift can occur... &*> Yxx
Guess which app I started using last Saturday? I like it so far and people just reacted to my walks. Good luck and keep going and pace yourself! Brilliant. Not sure how many people from around here are on there, but so far I am liking the app.
DeleteI was going to mention walking before you got to that part. Unfortunately, this is something that I currently find difficult to do. All the best.
ReplyDeleteWe think walking is a great way to start. Of course those blisters don't help much but take it easy to start and you will break those shoes in in no time.
ReplyDeleteWalking has always been my therapy. Might not work for everyone but it works for me. Good luck with finding your pathway.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) Good for you getting out and walking. I suffer depression because of my two chronic illnesses. It's tough to overcome. Going to Pulmonary Rehabilitation really helped me. I didn't know I could do the things that I did at therapy. So after therapy I joined the gym. Of course two week later I got a lunch infection and haven't been back since. Hope to go again because I haven't felt that well in a long time. I felt I was doing something good for myself finally!!! I wish you great success with pilates.
ReplyDeleteHope you do get to feeling like yourself soon.
ReplyDeleteFeeling like me again. That would be heavenly.
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